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Diamonds and Pearls of WisdomThe DivorceWizards Blog, by Lynne DiamondCA Divorce Mediator - How to Choose The Best 4UTuesday, June 14, 2011 Once you and your spouse decide to resolve your divorce by mediation, how do you go about finding the right mediator for you?There are a number of steps to take to find the best mediator for your situation. Start with referrals. Have any of your friends mediated their divorce? Whose services did they use? Look for a mediator who is experienced in your community. Look for someone who works out of an office rather than one who works out of their car. Someone who has a reputation of integrity and professionalism and wants to maintain that reputation in their community. Don’t be afraid to interview the mediator your spouse might find. This is a common difficulty in mediation. Usually one of the parties finds the mediator. It may be a referral or it may be through independent research but rarely do both parties find the same mediator at the same time. If your spouse finds a mediator, stay open to working with that person. Interview them to see how you feel about them. Be wary of attorney mediators who represent one party. By nature, an attorney’s charge is to vigorously represent their client. So if the attorney is the attorney of record for your spouse, beware – and be sure you understand if there could be any negative consequences for you. You may want to work with a mediator who you feel you have some things in common with. While no mediator will experience identical circumstances to you – if you have minor children, you may want to hire a mediator who also has minor children. If you are self employed, you may want to work with a self employed mediator. Experienced mediators are flexible and will be able to help you with a wide range of circumstances, but sometimes you may feel more comfortable working with someone like yourself. Be sure to interview potential mediators. You should feel a connection with your mediator. You should also feel they are neutral and you can trust them. You will be sharing many intimate details of your financial life and sometimes details of your personal life so you need to be sure you feel safe and comfortable with your mediator. Your mediator should inform you about your privacy rights in mediation and any particular rules your state has about confidentiality and the admissibility of evidence if the case does not resolve in mediation. |