DivorceWizards.commaking peace for divorcing couples since 1995
|
Need Immediate Help?
Call: 949.622.1750 Skype: divorce.wizards lynne@divorcewizards.com |
Divorce Tip: We can collect all of your California divorce information online. Learn more »
» Start NowCalifornia residents you can complete your divorce or legal separation online in peace. Summary dissolution packages starting at $500.
Previous Items
Take the First Step
About Divorce
About Divorce Wizards
|
Diamonds and Pearls of WisdomThe DivorceWizards Blog, by Lynne DiamondOh No! Spousal SupportTuesday, January 30, 2007 Those of you who are in the middle of or beginning a California divorce will soon learn what the dreaded words "spousal support" mean. Dreaded because if you are the payor, the spousal support will be too much and if you are the payee, the spousal support will not be enough.The purpose of spousal support is not well defined anywhere so there are a lot of myths as to what spousal support should be. There are those who believe that spousal support should allow both parties to enjoy the same lifestyle as they did when married. There are others who feel that spousal support should serve as a bridge to transition from a married life to a single life. That being said, the goal in California is for both parties to become self supporting some day. You would think a Dissomaster calculation would be enough to figure this out. But that would be way too simple. Spousal support is far more complicated than that! A recent case was heard in the California Court of Appeals regarding a Spousal Support Order issued by an Orange County, CA Judge. This case emphasized that spousal support relates to the standard of living of the marriage - not the lifestyle the parties are living today. The other statutory factors in determining spousal support include: contributions to the supporting spouse’s education, training, or career; the supporting spouse’s ability to pay; the needs of each party, based on the marital standard of living; the obligations and assets of each party; the duration of the marriage; the opportunity for employment without undue interference with the children’s interests; the age and health of the parties; tax consequences; the balance of hardships to the parties; the goal that the supported party be self-supporting within a reasonable period of time; and the fudge factor - any other factors deemed just and equitable by the court. Let us know what you think about spousal support! I Hate You...Now Let's Co-ParentThursday, January 25, 2007 I have been working with Doug and Monica for seven years now. They have been divorced for about five years and have three children together. We are on a retainer of sorts to help them work through post divorce issues as they come up.The thing is, this couple totally does not get along! They would probably rather spit at each other than work together on anything, let alone difficult parenting challenges. The literature encourages parents to get along after divorce "for the sake of the children" and "join together to co-parent". That is probably the ideal. Many divorced people just can't co-parent. So what can they do? I have created an approach to parenting that I call "Side By Side Parenting". That is a way for parents who can't co-parent to work together to help their kids. It goes something like this. Let's say the child is failing in school. He is a smart kid, never had any problems in school - until now. What to do? Try this. Each parent makes a written plan on how they will help the child through this difficult time. Even just a list of ideas - meet with teachers; write a contract; take the child to counseling; review assignments daily; no more sports until grades improve and so on. Then compare lists and mesh them together. Parents can then choose which parts of the plan they will implement. Voila - co-parenting accountability without the emotional background noise. Try it - let me know if it works for you. |