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Diamonds and Pearls of WisdomThe DivorceWizards Blog, by Lynne DiamondDivorce and Teen Drug AbuseSaturday, January 28, 2012 Someone recently asked me whether there is a correlation between teen drug and alcohol abuse and divorce. What exactly are we asking - Does teen drug abuse cause divorce or does divorce cause teen drug abuse.In the absence of hard statistics, I offer my simple opinion - yes and yes. Teen drug/alcohol abuse is a family disease. Often parents become so frustrated and scared when they discover their teen is an abuser, they don't know where to turn. Family relationships become tense and in the absence of help, the family unit may dissolve. Sometimes, a teen may feel despondent when his parents are divorced or divorcing and may turn to drugs and alcohol as a way to escape and feel better. Resources for teen drug problems are hard to find. Many treatment facilities cost upwards of $1000 per day payable in advance. The facilities do provide superbills for insurance reimbursement but often, few if any, services are actually covered. On the other hand, there are facilities available for low income families where middle class families are excluded from receiving services because their middle class incomes are too high. Teen drug abuse is a growing problem and is one disease that is killing teenagers. The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University calls it the No. 1 public health problem in the United States. According to the Orange County Register, 80 teenagers died in the past three years in South Orange County alone from HEROIN overdoses with the majority of those children living in the most upscale neighborhoods. No doubt similar statistics would apply in Los Angeles, San Diego, Marin, Santa Clara, and all over the State of California. Here are two resources in Southern California who may be able to assist families with these challenges. Both utilize the 12 Step Program format, proven to be the most successful, (but not the only)way of dealing with addiction. Both consider addiction as a family disease and treat not only the addict but the entire family. The first is the Positive Achievement Center at Chapman Hospital, Orange, CA. Their program is a comprehensive Drug and Alcohol Treatment Program for adults and adolescents, (the only adolescent chemical dependency unit within an acute hospital setting) in Orange County. The PAC offers a broad range of inpatient and outpatient services, including: Intervention services are available 24 hours a day. Initial consultations are free and completely confidential. For more information, please call them at 800- 337-2966 Because it is a hospital program, the PAC may be more insurance friendly for many Californians. Another program is BreakAway Health Corporation., an outpatient facility in Costa Mesa, CA. for over 24 years. Their programs are specifically designed to identify and address a broad spectrum of substance abuse/dependency issues through a blend of treatment modalities that have been proven to be the most effective for long lasting recovery. BreakAway provides both full time and part time treatment for young addicts including school credits recognized by the State of California and strong recommendations from several insurance companies. You can reach BreakAway at 714-957-8229. One more resource is Al-anon, a 12 step program for families of addicts and alcoholics, both teen and adult. For teens suffering through their parents' dependencies, there is a program called Ala-teen. You can find more information at www.aa.org or www.al-anon.org . These programs all have websites and are available to assist 24 hours a day. Don't wait any longer - save your children and save your family! Divorce Holiday EventsThursday, November 03, 2011 My holiday anxiety has set in. I can feel the tension starting about Thanksgiving - who to invite, what to serve, will everyone have a good time.And then the big holidays - where will we go? How will we celebrate? What about the presents - can we afford them this year? We all need to relax around this time of year, particularly when going through the trauma of divorce and restructuring your family. Here are a few year end events in Orange County to help you get through this joyful, but stressful season: DIVORCE RECOVERY HOLIDAY GROUP - This divorce support group is being sponsored by Maxine Cohen, MFT. Maxine is a well known Orange County therapist and author. She is offering a 7 week program beginning in early November 2011 and running through December 27 one evening a week. The cost is $350 for the entire 7 week program. The group will meet for 1 1/2 to 2 hours at Maxine's Newport Center office. You can reach Maxine at 949.644.6435 or her website www.maxinecohen.com DIVORCE PARENTING GROUP - This well known parenting program, Breakthrough Parenting is being offered by Jessica St. Clair, MFT. Jessica is a child therapist in Newport Beach and is also a court approved custody evaluator and special master. The program is offered on Tuesday evenings at Jessica's Newport Beach office centrally located near John Wayne airport. Contact Jessica at 714.568.1111 or on her website www.jessicastclair.com for more information on this court approved parenting skill development program. DIVORCE FINANCIAL RECOVERY GROUP - This four week series offered by Karen Caporaso, C.F.P., C.D.F.A. will explore financial planning for divorce. Four evening meetings are scheduled in November at Karen's Irvine Corporate Park offices. Call her for more information at 949.336.6440 or at her website www.commonwealthoc.net DIVORCE SUPPORT GROUP - This ongoing divorce support group is member run and available to anyone going through a divorce. The group meets on Thursday evenings in Lake Forest and also sponsors activities throughout the year. You must make a reservation to attend. There is no charge for this group. More information is available on www.meetup.com/NewBeginnings-OC/. Contact Sherry Adler for more information. FACING YOUR FEARS...This group offers techniques to look at what might be stopping you from reaching your dreams and goals. By bringing these obstacles into consciousness, you can start to eliminate the fear and move toward realizing more of the potential within you. Meetings are sponsored by Suzanne Zetz, MFT and held at her Dove Street, Newport Beach office on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays at a cost of $70-$80 per session. Call Suzanne at (714) 922-0052 for more information. If you are aware of any other groups we should be listing on our website to help divorcing families, do let us know. And of course if you know anyone getting a divorce, we are always available to help! HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Is Spousal Support Severance Pay...Happiness Tax...Entitlement...?Wednesday, August 17, 2011 I met with a client a few weeks ago who described spousal support as the “severance pay” she deserved. After all, she put up with all his “crap” over the years so she was entitled to enjoy the good life, sans him, for several years to come.What is severance pay? Severance pay, also known as “separation pay” is often offered to an employee when the company wants the employee to leave. There is no firing for cause and the employee has done nothing wrong – but the employer may want to downsize and eliminate the position or restructure for the same effect. Or maybe trade the employee in for a younger version. Often large companies pay severance pay. At Merrill Lynch, when I was employed there years ago, the severance package was one week of salary for every one year of employment to a maximum of twenty six weeks. Fair? Probably – a long term employee would have six months of pay and theoretically have time to become self sufficient. Another client described spousal support as happiness tax. He accepted the payment of spousal support as his ticket to leaving an unhappy marriage and settling in with a happy girlfriend. The price one pays for happiness – monthly payments to the former spouse. So is spousal support severance pay in California? Is it like a salary to give the lower earning partner time to regroup and become self sufficient? How about the length of spousal support? Sometimes payments may extend over years, even decades. Is that severance pay? Or happiness tax. The price you pay to move on in life. What are your thoughts? Does long term spousal support make sense in a long term marriage? Or is the severance pay too much for too long? Or too little too late? Should the state impose a “happiness tax” when people decide to get divorced? What do you think? |